Recently, a heavy and somewhat dark realization smacked me right in the face. It actually felt like a train ran me over and yet I managed to survive bearing the lingering aches, pains and bruises that such an accident would result in.
And though I don’t claim to fully understand this realization and its implications, I think I’d like to share it with you, maybe – just maybe – you could relate.
Last night, as I sat there on the terrace of a restaurant so far away from home, trying to absorb the scenes, scents and surroundings, an idea breached my comfort zone and left me so utterly confused and dumbfounded: the value of relationships when built around perceived commonalities.
Allow me to further expand on that thought…
You know how we tend to see the world with different eyes, literally? And those different eyes see things differently as well. Therefore, if you see a color, and you perceive it as red, in my eyes, it could be yellow which I perceive as red as well.
Confusing, right? Moving on.
When we build relationships seeking to have connections with other people based on the similarities we have, unless superficial, these commonalities are merely perceptions of commonalities. This does not only apply to colors, they also apply to almost everything people try to build a connection through.
How? I’ll tell you.
Take music for example, the one thing that millions of people can believe to have in common with others around the world. If you really think about it, the way someone loves a certain song, band or piece of music, is really not that different from our perception of colors. Unless we dissect music – turning it into a subject of experiment – we can never really know how and why others like the music we like. It could be a result of a beautiful memory, it could be a reaction to a situation, or it could even be the current state of mind or emotional state.
Now, take a walk in the street with a friend or a loved one, you think that if you were to walk on the same street, at the same time, you’d be seeing more or less the same things – I didn’t say thinking, I said seeing – however, that is not true either.
You see, I realized that what we perceive as commonalities, may might as well be the hidden differences we have from each other, setting aside the evident ones of course.
Consequently, and as much I would like to be proven wrong, I feel that most human relations, interactions and connections are superficial and are, therefore, flawed since the only real connection one can make is with oneself!
I mean I think no one really understand me more than me. But then again, that’s not always the case!