One Wish…

If I had just one wish,

I wouldn’t wish for money,
I wouldn’t wish for love,
I wouldn’t ask for fame,
Or seek power & authority…

If I had just one wish,

I would wish to be free of feelings;
Because I just can’t take feeling anymore!

I don’t want to wake up with tears in my eyes,
I don’t want my anger to eat me up inside…

I don’t want to ache for loss,
Or weep from pain…

I don’t want to feel broken,
Or suffocate from my loneliness…

I don’t want to feel misunderstood,
Or suffer trying to fit in…

I don’t want to feel jealousy,
And its insecurities…

I don’t want to feel fear,
Of any kind or manifestations…

The love I feel for others,
And the consequent disappointments,
I want them all gone…

I wave my right to happiness as well,
I don’t want this short-lived lie…

Joy, hope, desire and pleasure,
Take them all away too…

Feelings make us weak,
And I’ve had my share of weakness…

Feelings make us vulnerable,
And I’ve been vulnerable for long enough…

I just want to exist idly…
As a table,
A chair,
A door,
A street.

Until my time has come,
And I can finally rest.

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About outlived

X-dreamer, fighter and writer... Using words to unleash the pain that eats me from the inside out, day after day!
This entry was posted in feelings, pain and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to One Wish…

  1. justapearson says:

    i’m no writer nor do i know the answer to everything or would make you feel better in any way, but couldn’t help not to read your one wish…
    if i may say i agree with most of what you wrote but also know that your wish will never come true sorry. feelings are a bless that separates us from animals yet its a curse that puts us down most of the time…
    for what its worth being able to write and feel this way is a fact that you can never be a table or a door, your role is yet to come and will be a big one.
    that i know for sure.

  2. Farah says:

    Dear Beebee,

    ur post left me so speechless and brought one say to my busy mind.. “be aware for what u wish, for that it might come true”.. I had my share of wishes.. guess what??? They came true when I least was prepared for them!! and they’ve gone.. a one way travel.. They’ve gone..

    Love u xoxo

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