All the empty and loaded thoughts that circulated her sleep-deprived being were knocking hard on her memories’ doors, waking them up from a deep sleep; just like a mystic monster awaking from his winter’s hibernation.
This was like no other time for the simple reason that: For once, things were really supposed to be different! In a movie, this would have been the part where the happy music would begin to play in the background, where the cloud-shadowed sun would come through and the kids would run with laughter on their little blessed faces!
But it was not. Just because movies are not real. Simple as that.
If I were to begin to try and explain to you the attack of my disappointed mind, you would not understand. You would probably begin to give me a lecture about optimism, looking forward and suggest the glass theory to me. Some of you might even start so selfishly share your way of handling these kind of attacks – as if any of these really ever happened to you!
Which brings me to my next point: How do people convince themselves that they “know what you are going through“? It takes a lot of guts I tell you, and a little bit of ignorance as well, if I may say, to prescribe a cure for a pain that is unimaginable to those living with hollow hearts.
I missed writing, I really did. I missed it and feared going back to it at the same time. You see, for someone like me who uses words to vent, it is a scary thought that even after writing, I still feel bad and need further ventilation! There is also this fear of not getting it right: forgetting my trail of thoughts, diverting into a million topics (just like I’m doing now) or simply – again – not satisfying whoever stumbles upon this post!
Let’s talk about emotions; you know those some are loaded with while others lack completely. You know what astonishes me? Emotions are like breasts: they come in different sizes, colors and shapes and their results vary from one person to another. I used to call for breast equality, now I believe I would be more than satisfied with emotional equality!
The end… for now.