Looking for A Home…(1)


Looking back, way back…
When I didn’t have any white hairs whatsoever,
and my hair was still its natural color.
When I still bit my fingernails whenever I got frustrated,
and I had a low self-esteem that was inflated!
When I used to run around playing catch with the kids in our block,
and I only loved listening to only hip hop and rock!

Back then…
I was always looking for a home, somewhere I can belong to…
Searching for things in life that were real, that were true!
Never have I felt that regardless of where I was or with whom,
Every time something developed, there was a reason for wrong to bloom!

And now…
I still feel that I don’t belong to any specific place or time,
When a blossom of hope flourishes I know a bell of sorrow will chime!
I still feel out of order, as if I am here by mistake,
As if falling into coma; not asleep neither am I awake!

I wish…
I wish I can find a place to call home and feel it from within,
A place where people’s issues will not stoop my chin!
I wish I can feel at ease knowing that things will be fine,
Knowing, for a fact, there is no reason to frown or whine!

I ache…
In silence and unsaid words for I am too tired to speak,
My soul like crumbs of bread; traumatized and weak!

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About outlived

X-dreamer, fighter and writer... Using words to unleash the pain that eats me from the inside out, day after day!
This entry was posted in ache, belonging, home, hope, pain, silence, soul, suffering. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Looking for A Home…(1)

  1. johnlusher says:

    Another terrific post my friend. I believe in some ways we are all looking for the right home, no matter where we are at this point in time. Maybe it is something deep inside that drives us to keep searching for that perfect place.Keep searching and let us know when you find it.

  2. BeeBee says:

    If I ever do, the whole world will be the first to know! I ache for it so badly that I itch inside yet I hope that not many feel the way I do right now…

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