Looking back, way back…
When I didn’t have any white hairs whatsoever,
and my hair was still its natural color.
When I still bit my fingernails whenever I got frustrated,
and I had a low self-esteem that was inflated!
When I used to run around playing catch with the kids in our block,
and I only loved listening to only hip hop and rock!
I was always looking for a home, somewhere I can belong to…
Searching for things in life that were real, that were true!
Never have I felt that regardless of where I was or with whom,
Every time something developed, there was a reason for wrong to bloom!
I still feel that I don’t belong to any specific place or time,
When a blossom of hope flourishes I know a bell of sorrow will chime!
I still feel out of order, as if I am here by mistake,
As if falling into coma; not asleep neither am I awake!
I wish I can find a place to call home and feel it from within,
A place where people’s issues will not stoop my chin!
I wish I can feel at ease knowing that things will be fine,
Knowing, for a fact, there is no reason to frown or whine!
In silence and unsaid words for I am too tired to speak,
My soul like crumbs of bread; traumatized and weak!