Beirut & Beirut!

It is crazy to think that life is as easy as we think it is or as we would like it to be. The older we get, the more aware we are of the hidden truth behind our journey in life; the journey of uncertain destinations…

As we grow older and gain more experience, we come to realize that life is an endless struggle, of course that is only for those who opt to get somewhere in life and further achieve things they can be proud of… Taking the decision to live life and wake up, every single day, to a new challenge, takes a lot of courage, faith and conviction in one’s self and one’s abilities… Furthermore, making that kind of commitment lays a lot of weight on one’s shoulders!

Think about it, if we decide to nuzzle our heads into our chests and shield ourselves from life’s downs, harshness and disappointments, we will also be shielding ourselves from living extreme moments of utter happiness and pure joy…

Today, as I roamed Beirut, the beautiful dear city Beirut which I proudly carry its name, a wave of deep sorrow flooded over my heart and I could feel the pain rush through my head and gently tickle my eyes into warm yet stingy tears… I am leaving here soon… I am leaving this air of hope and this promise of a different life and going back home… Home where my precious mother is, where many dear friends are, where I can sleep comfortably in my own bed and wake up to the melody of the construction builders’ voice and tools! —- You might wonder: How is this relevant to the first few paragraphs? Allow me to explain…

Well, since the greatest dilemma of my life always was and forever will be: Beirut and Amman – my homes away from home, I have learned that just as life is about challenges, it is also about opportunities, those we take and those we choose to miss out on… And though the dusty winds of Beirut, its playful sea, and the simplicity of the life I can live here are things that fill me with deep serenity, Amman too has taught me how to love it and appreciate its beautiful dark chilly nights, its strange lingering familiarity and its untouched yet powerful coziness…

For me to be able to embrace the rush of warmth that passes me by when I’m away from either of those countries, I must be able to fully adjust and adapt to the idea that everything comes to an end, especially beautiful things… And in order for me to be stronger and be ready for my next fight, I should be able to clench to the memories of each happy moment spent here in order to survive whatever my life’s little box of surprises has hidden for me!

Is it easier said than done? Sure it is… Yet why settle for nothing when you can have too little or maybe even more? ☺




About outlived

X-dreamer, fighter and writer... Using words to unleash the pain that eats me from the inside out, day after day!
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One Response to Beirut & Beirut!

  1. Hashem says:

    It's good to hear from you, Beirut!It's weird…but finding a new comment on my blog after all this time made feel wanna write again…something I haven't been doing much lately…It's just that the words may have gone on a hiatus…sleeping in this freezing winter in here in north America…I was also recently in Beirut…spent the new yer there and came back around 10 days ago…and I already miss the vast blue sea…take care

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