The House of Proverbs

Looking back at my childhood days, I seem to have blocked out most of the things that have happened with me – for one reason or another – yet what I can never forget is the fact that I was raised in what I’d like to call “the house of proverbs”!

Ever since I was little, not one day would pass without my mother or my father involuntarily teaching me a new proverb, which somehow managed to snuggle deep into my memory’s reservoir and is summoned into my conversations every once in while!

Out of the hundred proverbs I have memorized throughout the years, one still “haunts” my thoughts and actions up until this day: “Il asa ma byintasa” – the English translation for this proverb would be: The pain/hurt/sorrow that you experience can never be forgotten. I believe this is true!

Somewhere deep inside each of us, there is often a place for forgiveness but the margin of forgetfulness is highly related to the amount of pain we undergo in each situation. Sometimes, we are able to forgive and forget a wrongful act done against us very easily and in a matter of days or even hours, the whole situation disintegrates into fragments of words that become almost meaningless to us. On the other hand, in more severe situations, the pain we undergo as a result of someone’s ignorance, carelessness, self-absorption, insensitivity, lies and/or betrayals, this kind of pain is almost always hard to recover from and it does linger on in our minds as long as we live. This excruciating pain breeds on our every breath, feeds on our every sorrows and multiplies at moments of utter loneliness!

I realize now that, at certain situations in my life, I have been, unintentionally, the cause of this “pain” in other people’s lives and now that I know what this type of pain is capable of doing after experiencing it first hand, allow me to apologize to each and every person that has ever looked back and remembered me with a tear or even a curse word! Karma has lead me to fall in love with the biggest pain of my life, an ache that will not budge, and will stay in my mind, on and on, in order for me to remember and relive every single day of my life…

Regards,
Beirut

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About outlived

X-dreamer, fighter and writer... Using words to unleash the pain that eats me from the inside out, day after day!
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