My Latest, Greatest Enemy!

Throughout my life, especially between the age 15 to 25, I used to take pride in myself for having the minimum number of enemies wherever I went and whatever I did. It used to give me comfort knowing that no matter how bad things used to get between anyone and me; I am able to maintain the minimum level of respect and friendliness possible.

Recently though, I have discovered that I am being targeted from one of the worst kind of enemies anyone could ever have: My Dreams!

It seems that after all this time, my dormant enemy has finally awaken from its slumber with one goal in mind: to haunt me and take twisted measures to remind me of my pain or play it to me, like a sad melody, every time I choose to close my eyes!

As fragile as this confession might make me seem, I admit: I am afraid from closing my eyes and falling asleep, for no matter how many hours I spend in this uncomfortable state of “unconsciousness”, my mind refuses to shut down and this conspiracy against my sanity declines to come to an end! Visions, images and sounds from the “once upon a time” happy days keep leaking into my sleep! I know that my dreams open the door for them! I also know that these vicious dreams fabricate beautiful memories that were never lived as well! They weave sincere smiles that were never made and honest words that were never said!

I’m tired, no actually I’m exhausted! If one can’t feel at peace while awake or while sleeping, how else can one rest? I need to rest!!!!


About outlived

X-dreamer, fighter and writer... Using words to unleash the pain that eats me from the inside out, day after day!
This entry was posted in About Me, Lost, Love, Personal, Thoughts. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to My Latest, Greatest Enemy!

  1. Anonymous says:

    Hey dear.. its me again.. I hope am welcomed :-)I'll give u an advice since I feel the same and go through the same..لا تحصي وجهه وصوره كما يحصي البخيل دنانيره ودراهمه..كي لا تصابي بالإحباط عند اكتشاف إفلاس قلبك من ذلك الوجه..Clueless..

  2. Sure u are…Beautiful words…But, would my heart ever go broke of those?

  3. Anonymous says:

    I am afraid not..Clueless..

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