Leaving…

The faint smell of summer is in the air, she could smell the leaves and the dry ground, and she could feel the heat of the night while walking alone in the half lit street, thinking to herself, of herself…

She finally reaches her destination, her house, opens the door to her room and her memories once more and slides into a feeling of insecurity once again…

Now, as she packs it all in her suitcases: the small little gifts from friends and family, the precious (happy and sad) moments she spent in that room, the few frames that had her pictures and her “distinguished list” certificates, her clothes, her shoes and everything else she could grab, she finally feels that she knows what she wants and she feels the inner strength to go for it…

A long sigh, a gentle tear and a push of determination… She is leaving now… Nothing to leave behind, no one left to leave an empty space, nothing left to lose…

In her fight for what she believed in, she finally realized that she has lost who she really was, or at least who she wanted to be… While giving up so much and so unconditionally, she has given up her own dreams, beliefs and soon her soul…

“Will I not fight for my soul?” She questioned herself…

It is true that on some level, many would consider this decision a selfish and yet irrational one, seeing that the situation isn’t that pleasant as one may believe… Yet, she had a choice to make and this time, she is going to choose herself out of all her list…

I’m leaving!” She declared…

Silently, she swept the tears off the table, went back to her suitcases and continued her packing only this time she chose not to think of anything any more…

Her mind went to sleep… Her body still functioned… Her heart she could still hear beat yet slowly, yet painfully…

I’m leaving…” She whispered into the night as she cuddled her pillow and fell into what she hoped would be a dreamless sleep…

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About outlived

X-dreamer, fighter and writer... Using words to unleash the pain that eats me from the inside out, day after day!
This entry was posted in Dedication, Lost, Love, Personal, Thoughts. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Leaving…

  1. BeeBee says:

    I just delete comments with names because as u see I don't mention anyone's name in my posts… Thanx for the comments anyway…Hope ur doing well…Take care…

  2. Anonymous says:

    Whoever you lived this experience or shared it with, this poem is a post-mortem story of a person telling it from the "other side".This poem is the injection of a rose-colored poison in a living disintegrated body. Never dreams have been as real as now.

  3. BeeBee says:

    Sorry anonymous… I do not truly understand what ur trying to say here? Is it an attack? A defense? Plz explain more…Thanks u for the comment either way.

  4. Anonymous says:

    It's definitively not an attack or a defense, a comment which you can understand in the way that it suits you best. The comment is of three sentences. Please when understanding it, write it or for a new post to emerge.

  5. BeeBee says:

    I don't understand the dilemma in the words! I mean once u say it's a port-mortem expression of what happened then u say someone is dying (or disintergated) and is being injected with an attractive "rose-colored" poison…Please clarify…

  6. Anonymous says:

    "…this poem is a post-mortem story of a person telling it from the "other side": a probable fact "This poem is the injection of a rose-colored poison in a living disintegrated body.": this poem seen as the injector on the reader.The poem is on one side the situation and action, and the other the result and a new opening to the subject from the person who did this action also.

  7. Fadi says:

    Catch your breathhit the wall scream out loud as you start to crawl back in your cage the only place where they will leave you alone 'cause the weak will seek the weaker until they've broken them could you get it back again Would it be the same fulfillment to their lack of strength At your expense left you with no defense they tore it down and i have… Felt the same as you, I've felt the same as you, I've felt the same Locked inside the only place where you feel sheltered where you feel safe You lost yourself in your search to find something else to hide behind The fearful always preyed upon your confidence Did they see the consequence when they pushed you around The arrogant build kingdoms made of the different ones Breaking them 'til they've become just another crown and i have… felt the same as you,I've felt the same as youI've felt the same as youI've felt the sameRefuse to feel, Anything at all refuse to slip, Refuse to Fall can't be weak, Can't stand stillyou watch your back, 'Cause no one willyou don't know why they had to go This fartraded your worth for these scars for your only Company don't believe the lies that theyve told to you Not one word was true you're alright, You're alright, You're alright and i have… felt the same as you,I've felt the same as you,I've felt the same as youI've felt the same …I have no idea what any of you are saying or what your comments mean, but i just wanted to give this song to my sister, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dv2lDRSCeAo and wish she would listen to some words of wizdom from her little bro.. beebs this songs is for you, Lifehouse isn't all just for who you think it is.. 🙂 take care sis..

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