Dedicated To Love… A Chapter in My Book

We don’t fall in love once; we do it over and over gain yet it differs each time and its level of intensity varies.
It is not always what people are willing to give, and for me, it never was it was always how much I am able and willing to give I guess it’s just me. I learnt to love beyond any sanity boarders, I mastered giving endlessly yet expecting no return and I have been hurt so many times for that but still, when it comes to me being with someone who I can’t give my all to, I stay away and don’t try to bother; I’d rather be alone. Then, I can divide all my love, care and attention between those who are around me and who care about my well-being.
I believe that in any experience one should go through, he/she should be ready to give it all they have, all they can though this itself might cause severe pain and disappointment!
I am a loving person. I love to the extreme and every time I fall in love, its like sky diving with no parachute yet I do it with no fear in my heart and a smile on my face. This is my definition of love, neither the Webster’s nor the Encyclopedia’s, utterly mine: Love is sacrifice, giving, giving it, letting go and succumbing. It is the only time you feel strangled and attached and remain free, the only time you feel miserable yet happy. Love is when you look in the person’s eyes and think to yourself: I wish I could see with those eyes, it is where you think: I wish I know what goes on in his mind, how he thinks, what he thinks about so I can understand him better. Love is when you seek to know what the your partner loves to eat, drink, smell, hear, listen to and do your best to make them available at nay time. It is when you never forget the smallest things he loves. It is when you can close your eyes and see him, vividly, as if he was standing in front of you. It is when you cherish even the worst smell his body might liberate and when you can remember the sweetest fragrance you smell when your in his arms. Love is when you can recognize his heartbeats between all other people. It is losing yourself completely to the point where you don’t know who you are unless if you are with him. It is a surrender, a defeat yet a joyful one! Love is an addiction; it is like poison yet it is the most beautiful way to breathe your last breath.
I also believe, through bad or unsuccessful experiences, people do choose that their minds control them out of fear of being hurt, disappointed, used or just simply forgotten. Some people do it because they want to stay in control. Losing control, to me, is a rush similar to adrenaline charge that you feel while going on a roller coaster ride, watching a horror movie or even speeding in your car. Love happens when the mind yields and the heart takes control; it is the only time when it is ok to let your mind shut down and hibernate. It is a long journey to nowhere and where you have no clue when it will end.
After all this, I do feel obliged to add one more thing to my definition. Love is not ever what you say and what you feel it is what you do. The foundations of love begin with the deepest feelings I lucidly described yet pure and great love needs time, patience and understanding to grow and blossom.
Love is never blind. It sees, accepts and embraces the faults and honors them. To prove my point, think of this: How could you wake up every morning next to someone you don’t think is beautiful from the moment he opens up his eyes? How can you think of a life together if you are just the least bit annoyed by his bad morning breath or his puffy eyes?


About outlived

X-dreamer, fighter and writer... Using words to unleash the pain that eats me from the inside out, day after day!
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3 Responses to Dedicated To Love… A Chapter in My Book

  1. Anonymous says:

    ana w 3am bi2ra 2day 7asseit inno inte bill maktab,inno tkhayaltik mitel al 3ade,2a3de wara al LCD w 3am tiktbe,w bas khalaseit tzakkareit ino ur not there,inte ab3ad min heik biktir,,bas al 7amdillah inno kamein bi2dar choufik 2a3de bill salon w 3am tiktbe,,7addik ur own coffee,,Beebee's style,,w dikhan al cigara m3abba al salon,,bas akid mich cha3rik,,,bas what's killing me is,,how can u say and write all this w ba3dein bitkibbe 7ajar bill moustanka3 w tkhalle al wa7el yitla3???w 7atta bas ra2it al mai,kamein kabbayte 7ajar akbar,,y???is it right what's happening now???halla2 ? bhall wa2eit???i guess not.

  2. beautifully and eloquentally written!! is your book finished? i too finished writing a novel a short time ago… what a trip that is!your words and imagery flow nicely!

  3. isaacman says:

    wonderful writing…i love it when u said "everytime i fall in love, its like sky diving with no parachute.." u've been in love so many times in ur life, u know all it's risks, u know how bad it could get, but yet u still love and know how to love and show love.. but i guess if u have been loved, u will feel it, u will feel that u have a parachute all this time, and u will know that u r going to fall in a hole of feathers that makes u love this fall and never want to get out of this hole… that's what love is..u can't just give and give without expecting anything in return, cuz it's gonna be one sided love then, and u don't want it, believe me, it's bad, and full of pain…i just wish that u would fall in this hole of feathers one day, u just need a good parachute that guides u to this hole.. and i hope u could be patient and enjoy the ride cuz it's a long journey, but it's worth it…

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